This afternoon I set up a profile for both Bumble and Hinge (I’d say long story, but it’s actually kind of short). As I often mention here about how much I read, particularly blogs and writings of some interesting people. There are a plethora of stories on sites about relationships. I understand that I’m feeding the beast right now, but I would actually like to go the other way with much of what I’m reading.
Plenty of sites claim that the divorce rate for millennials is down, which I find a bit dubious due to the fact that millennials are just now getting into their 30s which is when most people get married, and stats show that millennials are getting married later, so are they not divorcing or simply not getting married? One would think that if you’re not getting married its sort of impossible to get divorced right?
Advice for your actual dates: what to say, what not to say. What to do, what not to do. What to wear, what not to wear. What to order on a dinner date, how much to eat before you get out of the house so you don’t act like a hungry-hungry hypo at the table.
Advice on communicating: when to text, what to text; when to call, what to say when you call; when to send smoke signals, or how to strike the right tone on your pigeon post love letters.
The truth is that most dating advice doesn’t get past the reality test because reality is complicated. People are complicated.
People are real. We have anxieties, and gut feelings, and trust issues, and insecurities, and needs.
So what’s the point of holding back and waiting 3 days to text someone back if you really want to talk? What’s the point of waiting a couple of weeks to schedule a second date if you really want to spend time together? What’s the point of minding what you dress and what you eat and how you come across if that’s not who you are?
I’m certainly not the right person to ask for relationship advice, but why is everything online so grim? Its all about red flags, incompatibility and take care of yourself first posts. All pretty disheartening if you ask me. Being in a good solid relationship is one of the best things that can happen to any person, but you wouldn’t know that by the types of posts running around online. You would think every relationship is struggling or looking to find a way out.
No more positivity…
Whenever you would speak to older couples, people who have been through it, one would inevitably say “we had rough times but we made it through and I have no interest in living life without him”. Which is a beautiful thing! Everyone on the planet works entirely too much I think, but when did we stop thinking that relationships wouldn’t require a bit of work? Loving someone is a choice, not a feeling, cause if you think its simply a feeling that will go away at some point and what are you left with? A choice, and if you decide right then that you don’t care for that other person what are you going to do? If your partner isn’t honest, or if he’s abusive or just a plain old awful person then yes definitely get rid of them. But if you choose to love them, then work at it. It shouldn’t be so hard.